Wednesday, October 25, 2006

No Sleazy Cheezy until December!

What I hear you ask how can this be?

I have been sworn to not venting my spleen about things that we cannot help, but there you go, ask me when I'm drunk and I shall tell you all.

David has provided some lovely pictures again from the crime and punishment night, what fun we finally cracked the music timing problem and got a nice new young DJ to spin the wheels of vynil all night, he so good he brings his own headphones. Ahhhh!

The Lucky Charms Tribute to Prisoner: Cell Block H

Miss Angel D'Light Stealing Some Hearts

A Very Naughty Boy allways standing in the corner

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Friday October the 6th “Crime and Punishment”

“No good deeds go unpunished”

All good Johnson folk are invited to hang out with our collection of bunko-men, dippers, dolly mops, two story boys, purse snatchers, long conners, street walkers, bag men, blaggers, teenage hellcats and jailbait jezebels.

No band for this month but hell we gonna have some mighty fine burl-Q ladies shacking their thangs while stealing your hearts. Their gonna mug you with love coshes, roll you in the ditch of desire and bury your beaten body in the shallow grave of SEX-U-AL FRUSTRATION!!!

Well last month was a hair-puller and a half, perhaps we celebrated our birthday a step to far before putting on our show, but the we never claimed to be profess-I-anal about the running of this club. Why a lack of screaming tension and last minute high jinks would ruin thee process.

Young Mr Lucky Strike in his tribute to the Late Freddy Mercury with a nod to Ed Wood, you just gotta love angora on a man.

Monday, September 04, 2006

A Tribute to Tretchikoff

Due to the unfortunate passing of Vladimir Tretchikoff Sleazy Cheezy will be holding a minute silence to mark the passing of this great painter and also offering two pounds of entry if you come dressed as one of his paintings.

Our dear friend David has put online his Tretchikoff tribute movie you can watch his film Kitschen below. Also on a lighter note David will be doing a DJ set this friday, knowing his taste in music and movies it will be full of very fine tunes.

Friday, September 01, 2006

The return of Miss Hope Eternal

Miss Hope Eternal (the love child of true 70's suberbian swingers) has been away for a few month, chasing after fame and fortune in the world of stand-up comedy and the girl did good making it to the finals of the Gilded Balloons "So you think your Funny".
But its great to see her back at her home Sleazy Cheezy, perhaps we can persued he to do a turn , if not she'll definatly be taking her turn on the wheels of sleaze.

R.I.P. Tretchikoff

What sad news to report the death of the worlds gretest painter Vladimir Tretchikoff, the man who gave the world the kitsch mona lisa "The Green Lady".

He died in south africa on monday and a couple of thousand miles away my copy of the green lady dropped of the wall for no apparent reason, perhaps it was his works way of announcing that the "King of Kitsch" was dead.

Friday, August 18, 2006

More Atomic pictures..

“Gather round children and listen to my Tell,
It is about the A-pokylpse, which turned the world to hell.

So listen up good to my tale of sorrow,
Coz you got to ‘member it and tell it to the one who are birthed tomorrow."

"Once there was a betrayal by a maiden fair, She was a movie starlet with golden hair,
She did seduce a scientist, whose hair was white and wispy,
Little did she now the secrets she stole would leave the earth black and crispy”

“From the atomic wastelands comes, Some shapely cavewomen with lovely bums,
Of mans great knowledge they know not a jot, The radiation has caused them to lose the plot!”

“Now from the cursed earth comes a terrible chap,
Who plans to knock up the women in ten seconds flat!

He has a terrible long…stiff…whip that he lays on with much scorn,
Those poor mutant cave-girls are going to wish they wasn’t born!”

(can you tell i'm a great fan of Rupert the Bear style poetry)

Sleazy Cheezy 2nd Birthday 8th September

To celebrate the second birthday of Sleazy Cheezy were going to explore "Sin in the Suburbs" because obviously suburban people fantasize about Burlesque but we in turn fantasize about Suburbia.

On this night expect another fantastic Burlesque Pantomime about the 'Burbs and a great local band called "BLACKOUTS" (not to be confused with the Welch emo-core band "The Blackout").
"BLACKOUTS" are like Sophie Ellis Baxter trying to be Blondie but instead coming of like a young Siouxsie Sioux, their pretty lady singer has the angry stage presence of Alex Harvey.

The Atomic Burlesque in pictures and movies


What a great night we all had at the last Sleazy Cheezy, our continuing exploration into the Burlesque Pantomime was an astounding success and the NUKES stormed the night with their Sci-Fi Surf Garage.

The NUKES with the MISSILES (Miss Foxy Rogue & Missy Malone)

At the end of last months SC I was handed the chalenge that I couldnt get one of our performers to do a burlesque dressed as a gian cockroach, Ha there is nothing we couldn't get our performers to do a burlesque about..

Miss Kitty Trinity doing a Cockroach Burlesque.

(part one)

(part two)

Thanks once again to David for these lovely pictures.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

New Web Address..

Finally Sleazy Cheezy will be blasting down the tubes that make the internet with its own domain name. Wooooooooh futuristic we can now be found at....

.. a super-fantstic website will shortly be appearing once i finish moving house.

Oh and one last thing since we a Sleazy Cheezy are kind enough to allow you to take odd pictures, any chance of your photo-pervs sending us some copies so we can plaster the new site with them.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sleazy Cheezy Friday 11th "Atomic Burlesque"

What great fun last months Tiki night was, the Burlesque Pantomime went down a storm but Lucky Strike was rushed off his feet all night playing "Roger the Cabin boy".

So now onto Augusts Sleazy Cheezy, which should be fun as we have the album launch of one of our fravoritest bands The Nukes (who will be playing live and hopefully taking a shot on the turntables) and we have two extra hours due to the Edinburgh Festival, so we'll see what other acts we can drag in for the night.

The theme this time, in honour of The Nukes is "Atomic Burlesque", so dig out you childhood fears about nuclear destruction, dust of your radiation suits and prepare to go M.A.D. for the post-apocalypse.

So here is a little movie to get you in the mood..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sleazy Cheezy Home movies

Thanks to the wonders of youtube and the amazing camera work of Sleazy Cheezy's good friend David Hutchison we can now show some past footage of Sleazy Cheezy. I think these are all from the Tobbacconalia night.

First of we have the Lovely Lucky Charms..

Saturday, June 24, 2006

SLEAZY CHEEZY Friday 14th "The Libinous Luau of Titallating Tiki"

After a very enjoyable weekend down at the London Luau, I figured it was time to finally treat myself by setting the theme of the July Sleazy Cheezy to TIKI. A perfect oppertunity for all of you to dig out your Aloha shirts or dress like a pirate. I'll post a complete listing of the acts and burlesque dancers later to the date.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

3rd Skinny Reveiw

Yet another 4 star Skinny reveiw, a pity there is no mention of the wonderfull MICROSLUTS though..

Sleazy Cheezy @ Studio 24, Jun 16

Sleazy Cheezy is a guaranteed good time

An interesting evening to say the least, and half of the surprisingly small crowd were dressed up in ‘suitable wedding attire’ as requested. The highlight was without a doubt a burlesque showcase not short on inspiration, with skits that involved men being their laid-back and useless selves while the women stole the show by getting their kit off by increasingly creative means. A Zorro-themed sketch and florescent jilted bride stole the show, and as far as a clubbing experience it’s not something you will easily forget. Music throughout the night was mainstream but fun and great for dancing. If you haven’t been along before it’s well worth checking out, and for a group of friends or a birthday, Sleazy Cheezy is a guaranteed good time.

Written by Dorian Williams


Friday, June 09, 2006

SLEAZY CHEEZY Friday 16th "The Wedding Party"

Just a quick post before I head down to Lonon for the Luau, we've also got playing this month THE MICROSLUTS a hot three girl death disco combo and the return of PISHDOLLS, must dash got a train to catch..

Saturday, May 13, 2006

80's music video

The 80's was the decade that created the music video, think Michael Jacksons "Thriller", "Rio" by Duran Duran and "I Wanna Love You Tender" by Armi & Danny.
Who are Armi & Danny? you ask , why just the greatest of all Finnish pop acts.


Friday, May 05, 2006

FRIDAY 19th "THE 1980's"

Sleazy Cheezy will be exploring the most misunderstood decade of the last centaury, the 1980’s.
Forget about the yuppies, jumbo mobile phones and bad fashion, we lived that decade its about strikes, Thatcher and damn fine alternative music.
So get your big hair, pull on your donkey jackets and slap on your gender bending make-up as we prepare to kick up the 80’s.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Bareback Boys

What a stressful evening last Sleazy Cheezy was, our stagehands were all off being in some Heavy Metal Band so their was a lot of running around to do. But as I say the mark of a good club is not how busy they are but how they deal with adversity and juggling a bucking bronco machine, Burlesque Dancers, a live band and a stage flooded with chocolate pudding was adversity enough.

The Mending Hearts were top, especially their cover of "9 to 5" and its great to introduce 3 new burlesque boys to the scene (actually 4 burlesque boys if you count my impromptu striptease, which I was reliable informed may have been the highlight of the evening, not to blow my own trumpet of course).

If you wish to see more pictures from Sleazy Cheezy one of our most valued regulars David Hutchison has many lovely pictures on his website HERE

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Squeal like a redneck

I hope' yer all gettin in the mood for our country Sleazy Cheezy, but if you havin' trouble thinkin' on how youse is gonna be dressin' take some inspir-ation from this movie..


Sunday, April 02, 2006

2nd Skinny Magazine Reveiw

We got another reveiw in the Skinny of our "Intergalactic Night", four stars we got as well..

Sleazy Cheezy
Studio 24, Edinburgh
24th February

In the three months since we last visited Sleazy Cheezy it has moved from small-scale alternative boutique to floor-filling performance art with bantering comperes and a live gig. What a difference a small price hike makes! The intergalactic themed soiree ensured a wealth of tinfoil and titillating futuristic burlesque displays (read nekkid robot housewife), during which everyone wonders how and why the sequinned nipple covers remain firmly in place. The entertainment begun with low-key electro-pop from Dateless: two singers, including Alice of Alleschwindel, who go through more costume changes than Mr Benn, and supported by a masked guitarist and keyboardist. The tone was perhaps not as high-spirited as the rest of the evening, but it was definitely ‘out there’. The crowd, a mish-mash of punters from all of Studio 24’s nights, jigged away to the DJ sets which were heavy on the 80s, making it easy to imagine that tonight was about all the outsiders at high school coming together to dance at their very own alternative x-rated disco several years later. Compelling stuff. The next night is on April 21, and the theme is Bareback Mountainin' - a kitsch cowboy theme night. Expect celeb appearances from Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger (in your masturbatory fantasies).

Written by Alex Burden

...I love the bit about Sleazy Cheezy being an alternative X-rated disco for outsiders.


Howdy partners, are you ready to ride the D’Range all the way to Bareback Mountin’. This month at Sleazy Cheezy were going all out on Camp Cowboy Kitsch, Weird Westerns and Crazed Country.
So slip on your chaps and strap on your six shooters, and mosey on down for some fine highfalutin entertainment.
This month were proud to present “Miss Hope Eternals Hillbilly Half Hour”, a tribute to Country Music shows of the past, be amazed as she sings songs and is joined by musical friends & our guest band Edinburgh’s western-swing hillbilly pioneers “The Mending Hearts”.
But that’s not all folk No-siree you can try your hand at rodeo riding, on a rented mechanical bull, compete for the title of strongest thighs at Sleazy Cheezy.
I’m sure after all that jiggin' and buckin' you’ll ends up with a mighty big hankering to see some fine dancing girls or if you ride the other horse dancing boys, which is lucky coz we got Gypsy Charms, Karney Doll, Foxy Rogue, Sekura Tsui, Miss Angel D’light & the Bareback Boys.
So come along on Friday 21st, were open at 11pm till 3am and for £6 I don’t think you’ll find better entertainment this side of a shaved mules behind, YEEEHAW!!

Sunday, March 26, 2006


Another fine Sleazy Cheezy has passed and what a smoking evening it was.

First on we had Maco playing some fine smoking themed songs which was followed by “The NUKES” a top sci-fi garage surf band who stomped their way through their set ably assisted by new go-go girls “The Missiles”, who the observant amongst you would have spotted as Karney Doll and Foxy Rogue.

Then we had Academy of Striptease and Burlesque (Scotland) girls come on and do group number, entitled “Something in French”, well no not actually, they told me some French words for “The Black Night” or “The Dark Night”, but due to some brain damage I suffered later in the evening its drifted out of my mind.

Even though for many of the academy girls it was their first time on stage they managed to pull of a good tight group number, which was enjoyed by all.

As soon as we managed to clear seven sets of underwear from the stage we wheeled on the large black box that contained the PISH DOLLS, the crowd appeared apprehensive at the prospect of a puppet show (to many bad memories of educational puppet shows at school I fear) but a soon as the front crashed down and the puppets launched into a FULL-METAL-COCK-ROCKING version of Iron Maidens “Number of the Beast”, I was heartened to see the crowd surge forward to view the majesty of the 12 inch rockers.

The PISH DOLLS then slammed home with Metalica’s “Enter the Sandman” complete with miniature pyro’s, which provided a satisfactory “Thunderbirds” feeling to the proceedings.

Then we came to the BLUE part of the night as I introduced our smoking themed Burlesque girls; first to hit the stage was Miss Angel D’light proving the dangers of the flammable nature of cigarettes and a combustible dress.

Sekura Tsui exhibited her tribute to the hottest of all cartoon characters Jessica Rabbit which left a more than few people hot under the collar and my own dear brother Chico Von Sleaze behaving like the wolf from a Tex Avery cartoon.

Karney Doll gave her take on the Little Match girl and then Miss Angel D’light & Sekura Tsui took us back to school with the formative experience of smoking behind the bike sheds.

Unfortunately I missed the smoking and canning being presented by D’light & Tsui because I promised Gypsy Charms to help her with the final burlesque, so as the canning is going on I’m through the back with my trousers around my ankles, getting my hair spray painted grey.

So for the final number Gypsy and I paid tribute to the most scandalous of all cigars and Monicagate, thankfully Chico Von Sleaze managed to video it because I was not quite with it after accidentally inhaling about a can of hair paint to make my hair Clinton white.

I was told it went down well, who knows perhaps it has left me with the burlesque performance bug and soon I’ll be strutting the stage in a pair of nipple tassels.

The last act on had supposed to be the comedian Harry Ainsworth but he rather fell foul of our generous bar tab and performed a under par show, but it’s a learning experience I think the next time we have a comedian they’ll be on earlier.

To finish of the evening Roz (Disco Pervert from Dogma) played a fine selection of modern music and of course we ended with our club anthem “Time of my Life”.

A great evenings entertainment it was, 10 great acts all for £6, that is an astonishing 60p an act, you can’t even get on a bus for 60p anymore, what fun.

Friday, March 17, 2006

LONDON LUAU 9,10, 11th of June

Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, I like lots of Tiki, I’m going to London to have a lot of fun and drink a lot of rum, and perhaps fall on my bum, wouldn't that be fun with lots and lots of Tiki, tum de tum de tum, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, drink lots of rum.

I'm very excited about going to the London Luau and perhaps getting some of my artwork in the Tiki art exhibition, finally I'll get to meet all my Brit-Tiki contemporaries and get a reasonable priced meal in Trader Vic's.

The London Luau

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Friday 24th March "TOBACCHANALIA"

  1. Any of various plants of the genus Nicotiana, especially N. tabacum, native to tropical America and widely cultivated for their leaves, which are used primarily for smoking.
  2. The leaves of these plants, dried and processed chiefly for use in cigarettes, cigars, or snuff or for smoking in pipes.
  3. Products made from these plants.
  4. The habit of smoking tobacco: I gave up tobacco.
  5. A crop of tobacco.
  1. The ancient Roman festival in honor of Bacchus.
  2. bacchanalia A riotous, boisterous, or drunken festivity; a revel.

Ladies and gentlemen get ready to sat Bye-Bye to ‘Baccy, Ta-Ta to tabs, Cheerio to the Cigs and Sayonara to Cigars. Yes it’s the final countdown for indoor tobacco smoking, so we at Sleazy Cheezy are sending the filthy habit off in style.

What has Scotland’s premier Carnivalesque Cabaret got for you this month?.Well we shall be presenting the sci-fi garage surf sounds of “The Nukes”, the punk puppetry of “The PishDolls”, The Perrier award-winning comedy of Harry Ainsworth and the smoking inspired burlesque of Miss Karney Doll, Gypsy Charms, Sekura Tsui and Miss Angel D’light.

Plus on the DJ front this month Miss Hope Eternal & Johann Von Sleaze make good some drunken promises and invite the talents of Roz (Dogma) and Maco (Purple Moon) to play Sleazy Cheezy.

And finally Miss ‘Schwindel will be exhibiting her individual take on the obligatory cigarette girl.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

A fine evenings entertainment

Greetings fellow space beings, it is I hope Eternal just landing after a insalubrious weekend, the highlight of which was our own Sleazy Cheesy.
My how sumptous you all looked, I could have gorged on you all, especially my wonderful entertainment partner Johann Von Sleaze who wooed the crowd with his tounge in cheek & bulge in pocket style, brought on no doubt by the raw charms of the sensational Dateless a poptastic penetration of naughty intelligent pop/electro fusion.
Once again the astounding & outstanding charms of the burlesque troop hightened the mood & tightened the trousers of many a boy & no doubt a few girls as well.
However sleazy, no matter how cheesy we remain an unpretentious & fun club night.
The crowd were lovely & theatrical, just what we like & there were so many of you!!
Thanks to everyone for taking part, staff & customers alike, I had a great time hope you did too, see you at the next one, which Johann will post details of very soon,
Chow bella's
Hope Eternal

Thursday, February 09, 2006

FEBRUARY 24th "Intergalactic Burlesque"

This month we go SCI-FI MENTAL with an evening of out-of-this-world themed entertainment.
On the DJ front this month we have as a special guest "someguynamedfuz" who used to DJ (although he claims not to be such a thing) for Moon Safari, one of the original and best Lounge/exotica nights in Edinburgh.
On the Dancing lady front we have some new faces (well new to us), Miss Angel D'light - a tattooed goddess, Tsui - a Suicide Girl and Gypsy Charm - a burlesque educationalist.
Plus we may have the return of Miss 'Schwindel, providing she can align with our reality for the evening, but then again I'm sure we can forgo her attendance if it furthers the completion of the second Alleschwindel album.
What a lovely evening we will be having and a fine oppertunity to explore your futuristic dress sense (for those that don't make the effort we will force them to don tin foil hats), plenty of fishnet wookies, dirty droids, barbarellas, trekkie tarts and mutant major toms.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Skinny Magazine Review

I found this review in the Skinny, of our November night while i was toddling around the intermersquet..

Sleazy Cheezy
Studio 24, Edinburgh
4th November

More often than not, the ‘cheese’ club formula of drunk clientele, £1 drinks and the theme from Minder makes for a sub-par evening. What a surprise then to stumble across Sleazy Cheezy (the self-proclaimed purveyors of ‘carnivalesque cabaret’); a great new way to fill a Friday night. Resident DJs Johann Von Sleaze and Miss Hope Eternal provide a miscellaneous aural backdrop of ska, pop, and more importantly Europe’s Final Countdown. Tonight also featured a visual feast in the form of The Ministry of Burlesque (ladies in states of undress with revealing balloon popping dances), live performances from a Frank Sinatra impersonator, and Miss Schwindel from Alleschwindel - a kind of 1930’s Eastern European electro cabaret performance. For £3, this is money well spent. Sleazy’s is gathering momentum and fans, and the range of music played means that most tastes will be catered for. Don’t be put off by the mention of cheesy songs; it is only one element in this barrage of entertainment.

(the original skinny article is off line but a cache of it is here)

Friday, January 27, 2006

"Milk Gone Wild"

(Quickly first off i got Burns Night wrong its the 25th of January oops)

PETA's new anti-milk advert, hot chicks with giant milk squirting udders, top vegan shock tactics but they could have won me over instantly with the claim that beer is better for you than milk due to the high levels of fat and growth hormones.


Thursday, January 19, 2006

JANUARY 27th "Anti-Burns Night"

So KARNEY DOLL asks me if she can theme an evening at Sleazy Cheezy and ever the gentleman I say sure.
Then i'm standing in the supermarket staring at a huge pile of Haggis thinking why all the Haggis, then it hits me the 27th of January is Burns Night, all the tartan, the wee scotty dugs, the broons, the whisky, all the fun with Scots Kitsch and here I'am doing a night of "Under the Sea".
But then i think Burns, burns like fire, what puts out fire, water, under the sea, yup good connection.

Sleazy Cheezy is growing bigger in february this will be your only chance to purchase a money saving membership before we move into a larger area and increase the entrance price.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


We love William Shatner at Sleazy Cheezy, the man is a musical genius and artists must be so proud when he blessess their music by covering them, here is a rare chance to see "THE SHAT" (as we call him) performing Elton John's song, "Rocket Man", in 1978, for a Sci-Fi/Fantasy awards show.