Friday, December 23, 2005

DRINKING PRACTICE 30th DECEMBER


TA TA DA!!! It's another Sleazy Cheezy, with a very special guest D.J. The amazing AL MacDONALD from DOGMA but real Sleazy Cheezers will remember him from before his Tekno DJ career as the wonderful AL CHEESE of the FROMAGERIE, one of edinburgh's longest running Easy Listening Clubs.

Al will be playing great tunes and puffing away on his pipe for your enjoyment.

So if anyone turning up for Tekno music will be sadly disapointed.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

KITSCHMAS MADNESS!




What an excellent night, Sleazy Santa was on top Sleazy for here he caught molesting Missy Malone from The Ministry of Burlesque.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

December SLEAZY CHEEZY "It's Kitschmas"


Ho Ho HO Merry Kitschmas, this month SLEAZY CHEEZY has a treat or two in store, first up the return of the MINISTRY OF BURLESQUE, fine young fillies doing eye-popping nudie-lady dancing, the mighty BILL SPICE will be playing some tunes of the experiment outsider kind and some up and dancing party songs and I can guarantee that MISS HOPE ETERNAL will be able to come out to play, the babysitters are booked.

Now ladies and gentlemen as yourself "have I been naughty or nice?” because SLEAZY SANTA is cumming to town, dare you enter his grotty grotto and place your hand in his bran tub.

All this for only £3, remember to dress sleazy or cheezy and come early or you'll miss the girls.

Friday, November 11, 2005

SLEAZY CHEEZY 4th November "A night to remember"


Well ladies and gentlemen what a great night we had, three dancers, two singers and one panicking host.

I knew it was going to be a good night when I found a full formal suit in a charity shop, the tails jacket, waist coat and stripy trousers all for £30 and they fitted me like a glove.

Unfortunately Miss Hope Eternal could not attend due to a lack of babysitters but Mr Bill Spice from the Club Curious turned up to lend a hand on the decks and what a splendid job he did.

Miss ‘Scwindel gave us a unique Cabaret-Karaoke using her previously recorded works form her band ALLESCHWINDEL as backing. She also invited her friend Mr Fenton Barnes with his Frankly splendid renditions of Sintrocities, one would have though old blue eyes was in the building.

If that wasn’t enough for the Sleazsters attending the MINISTRY OF BURLESQUE trotted out a spectacular cluster of routines. Foxy Rouge popped balloons filled with glitter, Missy Malone and Karney Doll wowed us with their pyrotechniques.

By the end of the evening my bow-tie was well askew.

Now I have the challenge to make the next SLEAZY CHEEZY on Friday December 2nd even more fun filled and entertaining, I think since we’ll be in the season of advent perhaps a Kitsch Christmas is in order perhaps the return of SLEAZY SANTA may return.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

NOVEMBER SLEAZY CHEEZY


Come to SLEAZY CHEEZY on the 4th of November, so much fun for only three pounds.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

ROCK SWINGS

Just got the new Paul Anka Album, some mighty fine covers on that there CD, expect it to be on heavy rotation at the next SLEAZY CHEEZY. I first heard his cover of "Jump" on the Perth's "king of cool" Desmond Carrington's "When the music goes round" a top radio show from the BBC.

Oh just to warn you I also bought some Ivor Cutler, which i'm sure you'll all grow to enjoy.
Ivor Cutler was well loved by John Peel (two peel sessions a year since 1969) and what with the recent John Peel day, I guess playing "Teenage Kicks" is a more guranteed floorfiller tribute than playing Cutler's "Egg Meat".

Thursday, October 13, 2005

GIANT SKELETON FOUND IN INDIA

I love internet hoaxes, this one is tops, the production values, the camera work, i can only ask the question "What product is it selling?"

GIANT HOAX

OCTOBER SLEAZY CHEEZY

The Ministary of Burlesque pulled out all the stops this month, with a Benny Hill saucy nurse style slap fight, an evil black clad nurse going pycho on a doll and then a cheeky medical fan dance.

Plus we had the wonderfull Nurse Ratchet and her Karaoke/Caberet/quick change costume routine. Nurse Ratchet is more commonly know as Alice from the great ALLESCHWINDEL
a band we'd love to have play, perhaps next year once they have finished touring.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

A late glastonbury reveiw

(Hi I ment to post this as soon as i came back, but my wife desided i had something more important to do, as they do, and i only just got around to finishing it..)

Well that’s me returned from a field in summerset, and what a good week that was.
We arrived on the Wednesday morning, after driving all night from Scotland, to bask in blazing sunshine and get hammered on Pear cider.
I then went back to my campervan, donned my white dinner jacket (with black shirt, black trousers, white bow tie and white winkle pickers) and loaded up with gin to dance the night away at the pirate stage and Lost Vagueness.

Naked Ruby:A Brixton based Voodoo-billy band with a powerfully Joplinesque lead singer, who later helped demolish our supply of gin and tonics Lovely people.

Around about four on the Friday I noticed flashes in the sky, Fireworks I thought, then the biggest drop of rain hit me. Oh I thought its about to rain, better retire to my lovely dry camper and listen to the sound of the rain hit the roof, while I’m snugly and warm.
During that night a months worth of rain fell, huge apocalyptical strikes of lightening struck the stages, the mobile telephone towers and one unlucky girls umbrella. The rain fell on hard sun baked ground and rushed downhill in great torrents flooding tents, knocking over porta-loos and then forming huge lakes swamping low-lying camping areas.
I slept through this oblivious to the chaos all around, woke up to the huge lakes and thanks to the many feet of the festivalgoers the ground rapidly turned to a quagmire of mud.
Despite this I managed to go and see three bands:

The Zutons: who played standard Indie rock, until their last track witch had prog style freak-outs and Sativa drummer style massed drumming, which heartily impressed me.

Alabama 3: A wonderful set by the ‘bama, with a talented wee lassie singing with them, a few new songs but all the classics, “Mao Tse Tung Said” filled the field with clenched fist socialist salutes, of and they were introduced by Howard Marks and I think I saw Brian Wilson standing at the back of the stage miming shooting up during “Hypo full of Love”.

White Stripes: The field in front of the Pyramid Stage was reminiscent of the mud at the battle of the Somme, a deep sucking swamp, but the band played great, loved their version of Dolly’s Jolene.

Saturday arrived after another night of drinking, more pear cider was had for breakfast and an attempt to upgrade my very wet and mud covered trainers for some boots or wellies but not wanting to join the riot in front of the “Joe bananas stall”, I opted for drying my feet, applying some socks then jury rigging waterproofing with plastic bags and gaffer tape. With my feet now better equipped I stomped of to watch a band.

The Levellers: A crusty-hood dream to see them at Glastonbury, they were good played all their big songs, good big crowd and they offered to let my friend Rarg join the band afterwards.

The weather was overcast on Saturday and seemed to threaten more rain but as another friend said “Play stops Rain”, so on went my dinner jacked for an evening of carousing and on the way I saw..

Hayseed Dixie: I’ve seen them play at Studio24 a couple of times now but since I’m working behind the bar I never get a chance to enjoy myself, so it was a right treat to finally get to dance along and bloody hell they are talented.
When the introduced their song “Blind Beggar Breakdown” and rambled on about the blind beggar (a local Edinburgh biker pub), my darling wife phoned the beggars manager to inform him of the mobs of hippies that may be descending on the bar in the coming months.

The Proclaimers: Well they were on after the ‘Dixies and they played “Letter from America” first, we slinked of to the rock’n’roll diner at Vagueness for some dinner and came back to hear them play “I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)” as their final track.
It was good to see them live rather than stare at the back of one of the Proclaimers head’s as he takes the number 23 bus up to Morningside.

Sunday started hot and stayed that way all day, the mud started to dry and where their had been quagmires now their was dust, it defiantly perked me up, so straight into more cider. I find on weekend bender if you stop drinking that’s when your troubles start.

The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain: They were the best band at Glastonbury, in sheer talent and musicianship and comedy, just amazing, I would crawl on broken glass to play the Ukulele as well as them. Anybody that missed them wasted their entrance money.

By Sunday evening I was getting a bit lethargic so spent the evening around a campfire enjoying the company of friends, I find that so many people go a little nuts on the Sunday because their going home the next day and start to panic. I just like to relax and let the final night wash over me, in perpetration for the Monday Tat-fest.

Monday starts with my trainers splitting open, the wet, mud and heavy use on gravel roads have finally gotten the better of them, but as luck would have it its Tat-fest Monday. I wonder if it’s a sad reflection on the consumer society at the amount of stuff that gets left behind at Glastonbury (Wellie boots that could have been sold at £70 on the wet days are left by the bins, whole tents, camping mats and every year a kitchen sink are all up for grabs on Tat-fest Monday) or is more about the long march home and a desire to lighten your bulging backpack.
Within ten feet of the front gate I upgrade my broken trainers to a newly abandoned pair of Dr Martins unfortunately they are a size 10, one size too small, but they’ll do until I find a lovely pair of German paratrooper boots which do fit, then seconds later a pair of British army boots which I take for Sunday best.
By the time I’m finished tatting I score, 2 complete sets of waterproofs, 2 camping mats, a new frying pan, 3 pairs of boots, a lovely pair of rugby socks, a rucksack to carry it all in and huge blue parasol cover made of raffia that will make a good monster costume for later in the year.

And so we depart later that evening leaving the field of Glastonbury for another two years.