Thursday, January 15, 2009

R.I.P. Tails

One of my least favorite things about living in the future, is that so often the internet is the conduit by which I am informed of peoples deaths, that kick in the guts while staring at a screen I can do without.

So once again this happened on Sunday when I read that the body piercer and underground techno D.J. Tails had died of a heartattack. I have known Tails from the underground club scene in Edinburgh for the last ten years and he cut quite the striking image over six foot tall, shaven head, facial tattoos and enough piercings to make me wonder whether he'll be buried or weighed in for scrap.

My little brother recon you never die as long as your remembered in peoples stories, well Tails called Saturday Belly-button day because that was all he ever seemed to pierce on a Saturday.

Tails took ages over deciding over whether or not to get his face tattooed, not because it might limit his future employment "Its not like anybody would want me in an office" but because he didn't want to encourage children to get facial tattoos. This was because the pupils of Musselbourgh High School had voted him coolest guy on the planet, "That means I'm cooler than people that have been on the moon", it was a lot to live up too. Sort of like Mr T, a hard looking bastard but good with kids, don't know how good he'd have been at building a tank but if you wanted a hole put through you he'd be the man.

About the time I first met Tails he was hit in the face by a chunk (like a half coconut sized chunk) of firework shrapnel during the "End of the Festival Fireworks", I said to him that was lucky as you could sue the council or at least get yourself on the front of the paper, Body Piercer Hit by Firework, but he said no it was as good as winning the lottery because of all the people who looked up at the fireworks only he got a chunk in his face.

But for what I'll always remember him for is the advice he gave me, I'd just discovered how fast you can push up a Prince Albert from 2mm to 8mm and was wondering how far you could go. Tails told me about his mate who'd taught him piercing and how he'd been a very keen self experimenter and now had seven holes in his todger, each one of them big enough to pass your index finger through but now his cock barely worked, so think ahead. Good advice.

Tails in your life you put holes in a lot of us but none as big as the one that will be left from your passing.

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